Why Hello, June

Another month has flown by. The month of June is stretched in front of me, and I feel uneasy.

I worked on Friday and Saturday, and both days were busy - Saturday left me feeling like a mush ball. It was a strange day with patient issues that I don't normally encounter on our unit (rehabilitation). As my track coach always said (yes, Nietzsche said it first), what does not kill me makes me stronger. One of my coworkers told me that she proud of how I kept my calm & didn't seem flustered through it all. It felt like a final exam or initiation before entering the next "grade" as a nurse. I'm glad I made it through and am praying that tomorrow is uneventful.

I really, really, really love my job as a rehabilitation nurse. I work with patients who have experienced strokes, car & motorcycle accidents, and other traumatic injuries. Patients stay on our unit for a longer time which means we have a different type of relationship with patients and family members. We see patients progress and get stronger. Our patients become each others' temporary communities, and these relationships are so important to the healing process.

Right now we have the gentlemen's club - each member has experienced a brain injury (stroke/bleed) and is in a different stage of mobility/cognition/healing. They warm my heart, and it will be really hard to say goodbye to each of them. They are the reason that I love my job.

I also love my patients who've experienced other brain injuries (from a fall, car or motorcycle accident, or physical trauma).
But, some days are more trying than others.
Like yesterday.
A day where I made it through by grace and with the help of coworkers.
Despite feeling like I was on a roller coaster on Saturday, it wasn't a downward plummet.
I had great moments with patients. Moments that made me smile and brought true joy to my day. Some of those moments with the same patients that were my hardest struggles.
Welcome to the world of being a nurse. Especially a rehab nurse.

----
On the other side of my life, the mama/family life, Mr. C has had a fever and has slept fitfully (= a fitful sleep for mama & daddy) the last three nights. Now that he's been sleeping through the night, a few nights back into the newborn sleep routine makes me quickly realize how nice it is to get solid, uninterrupted sleep.

I'm usually drained after two days and spend my day off to re-energize (especially since I work tomorrow). Add fitful sleep x3 nights (with part of last night on the couch), and I was a tired monkey today (as we like to say around our house). I didn't even realize how tired I was until I took a nap. A long nap. I had made a phone date with one of my dearest friends, and I slept right through it. I felt discombobulated when I woke up (that's quite the word, isn't it?) because I slept so long and because I missed our phone date. My friend and I both view our friendship as one where we will connect on the phone or through FaceTime when it's the right time and place, so I know that while she probably was disappointed she won't hold it against me. I'm the tougher critic (of myself, that is).

Mindfulness. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale.

I needed that nap.

We've now figured out why Mr. C has a fever. He developed a rash this morning, which caused me to panic until Karl was my saving grace. He remembered that our pediatrician had mentioned the last round of vaccines can have a delayed reaction - with a rash. When it happens, it starts around 7-10 days after the vaccinations.
May 20th to May 31st...11 days later.
Sigh.
He's also teething, which only adds to his miserableness.
I feel more settled now that we now why he's been fussy, clingy (which I don't mind getting to cuddle extra), feverish, and uninterested in food.
I'll feel even better when his normal spunk has returned.

It's amazing how much writing helps me to process everything; it's such a cathartic experience. I'm feeling so much better than when I started this post.

My original plan was to update everyone on our house's progress...but then this post was what evolved.

This post was obviously what I needed to write. The other can wait.

Now after a good nap, I'm going to shower and get to bed. Long before midnight.
Praying for a sound sleep for Mr. C.
And for a Monday that feels more like a Tuesday or Wednesday.

Also praying that your week and the month of June have started out smoothly.

Thanks to everyone for reading. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.