In Search of the Missing...(Fill in the Blank)

Since I'm off from work today, I had planned to take the kiddos to preschool, come home, and hop back into bed. While getting to bed early has never been my strong point, I've been up a little later than normal lately. The idea of snuggling up under the covers when it's freezing cold outside sounded so luxurious and heavenly. Especially on a weekday. I came home, made a few work calls, and then knew that I couldn't avoid it any longer.

Why Hello, June

Another month has flown by. The month of June is stretched in front of me, and I feel uneasy.

I worked on Friday and Saturday, and both days were busy - Saturday left me feeling like a mush ball. It was a strange day with patient issues that I don't normally encounter on our unit (rehabilitation). As my track coach always said (yes, Nietzsche said it first), what does not kill me makes me stronger. One of my coworkers told me that she proud of how I kept my calm & didn't seem flustered through it all. It felt like a final exam or initiation before entering the next "grade" as a nurse. I'm glad I made it through and am praying that tomorrow is uneventful.

I really, really, really love my job as a rehabilitation nurse. I work with patients who have experienced strokes, car & motorcycle accidents, and other traumatic injuries. Patients stay on our unit for a longer time which means we have a different type of relationship with patients and family members. We see patients progress and get stronger. Our patients become each others' temporary communities, and these relationships are so important to the healing process.

Right now we have the gentlemen's club - each member has experienced a brain injury (stroke/bleed) and is in a different stage of mobility/cognition/healing. They warm my heart, and it will be really hard to say goodbye to each of them. They are the reason that I love my job.

I also love my patients who've experienced other brain injuries (from a fall, car or motorcycle accident, or physical trauma).
But, some days are more trying than others.
Like yesterday.
A day where I made it through by grace and with the help of coworkers.
Despite feeling like I was on a roller coaster on Saturday, it wasn't a downward plummet.
I had great moments with patients. Moments that made me smile and brought true joy to my day. Some of those moments with the same patients that were my hardest struggles.
Welcome to the world of being a nurse. Especially a rehab nurse.

Mama Brain

The Stash ... My Brain on Ice

Pregnancy brain. I don't think I'll ever recover. If I do, I think it will be when my kiddos are adults.


I never recovered after having my daughter (who will be 3 in a few months). I casually explain to others that it must have lingered into the postpartum period because I breastfed. 


All my smarts are being siphoned right into my kiddos. They will be brilliant (not saying I ever was, but if they have their own brains plus mine...). Me, on the other hand? Not so much.




With each breastfeeding session, I become a little dumber.

Melancholy and Mental Piles

I read through my last post and that day was a great day for me.

Days like today, the piles I'm between are the piles of my mind. I've learned that sleep (in the range of 8 hours or more) is essential to my being able to be in a positive mindset.

I remember back to being in junior high or high school and having a stay over at a friend's house. My parents would always give me a hard time the next day because I would be so. cranky. They always said, "Next time you won't be able to go for a sleep over if you keep up this attitude!" or something parental like that.

Yes, mom and dad, I understand why you said that. I can remember how cranky I could be but didn't want to admit that it was because of lack of sleep. Not that I was fooling anyone.