Blogging (Life) Obstacles ... and SMASHING Them

I originally started this blog when Karl and I were in the initial planning phase of moving to Minnesota. That reality feels so removed from where I am today. I'm sitting at a messy table (same one where this blog started) in a different room in a different state. It's a gorgeous November day, unusually warm for Minnesota standards (70 degrees!!) Ok. I had to relocate to our back deck. I knew it was nice out, but wow!! The 3 kiddos are all napping. It’s bliss. 

One Step, Two Steps

I normally write when I’m down or ugly angry or have had a bad day. While it’s been a day of many emotions, it’s overall been a good day. Lately, the good have outweighed the bad which, in turn, is helping the good moments to come more often.

I have a new nurse practitioner psychiatrist who is wonderful. I’m so thankful that she happened to relocate to a clinic near my work since the previous one is over an hour drive away. Besides the two clinicians working in an office specialized that ante and postpartum periods, she’s the first who has said that I have postpartum depression/anxiety.

Some of you may wonder why that matters. I was pretty sure I was struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety after both Miss S and Mr. C were born. But, I’m not a nurse practitioner or doctor. Nurses can’t diagnose (even though most of the time we are right with our hunches). Without having a diagnosing medical professional say that I was experiencing postpartum mood disorders, it was just my “thinking” that my symptoms matched.

Climbing

I have a longer messier uglier post that might never get published. This story is the short version.

Hi, my name is Kristin. I’ve struggled with anxiety most of my life. I was officially diagnosed with depression in college. In each postpartum period, my anxiety has become worse. It isn’t as some moms describe – I don’t feel anxiety about my baby. Instead, I’d be happy just cuddling my baby while someone else cleans my house, cooks for me, and entertains my other children (and the dog and the cats). My anxiety is about everyone and everything else. I feel rage. It is a dreadful feeling.